If you have a MIAM booked, or you are thinking about it, it is natural to feel a little apprehensive about the unknown. The good news is that a MIAM is a calm, straightforward conversation, not an interrogation or a court hearing. This walkthrough explains exactly what happens, step by step, so you know what to expect.
Before we start: what a MIAM is
A MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is your individual first meeting with an accredited family mediator. It is confidential, it is held with you on your own, and it usually lasts around 45 minutes to an hour. Its job is to help you understand your options and to assess whether mediation is suitable for your situation. With MIAM Direct, it is held online or by phone, so you can attend from home.
Step 1: Welcome and introductions
Your mediator will start by putting you at ease and explaining who they are and how the meeting will run. They will confirm that the MIAM is confidential and legally privileged, and explain the two narrow exceptions to that confidentiality: where there is a risk of harm to someone, particularly a child, and where a serious criminal offence is disclosed. This is not meant to alarm you, it is simply the mediator being transparent from the outset.
Step 2: Understanding your situation
Next, the mediator will invite you to explain what has brought you to mediation. This is your chance to describe your circumstances in your own words: your separation, your concerns, and the issues you would like to resolve, whether that is child arrangements, finances, property, or a combination. There are no right or wrong answers, and you will not be judged. The mediator is there to listen and understand.
Step 3: Explaining your options
The mediator will then explain how mediation works and talk you through your other options. Since April 2024, they are required to explain all the forms of non-court dispute resolution available to you, which includes mediation, arbitration, collaborative law and neutral evaluation, and to help you understand which might suit your case. They will also explain how mediation compares to going to court, in terms of cost, time and stress.
Step 4: A confidential safeguarding check
An important part of every MIAM is a private conversation about safety. The mediator will ask, in confidence, whether there are any concerns such as domestic abuse or worries about a child’s welfare. This matters because mediation is not appropriate in every situation, and the mediator has a duty to check that it would be safe and suitable for you. Anything you share here is treated sensitively.
Step 5: Assessing suitability
Drawing together what you have discussed, the mediator will form a view on whether mediation is likely to be suitable and productive in your case. Sometimes it clearly is. Sometimes it is not, for example where there are safeguarding concerns, and that is a perfectly valid outcome too. The mediator will be honest with you about their assessment.
Step 6: Deciding what happens next
At the end of the meeting, the mediator will explain your next steps. Broadly, there are three possibilities:
- You decide to try mediation. The mediator will invite the other party to their own MIAM, and joint sessions can be arranged.
- Mediation is not suitable, or you decide against it. The mediator can issue the signed court certificate you need to apply to court. With MIAM Direct, this is issued within 24 hours.
- You would like time to think. That is fine too. There is no pressure to decide on the spot.
How to prepare for your MIAM
You do not need to do much, but a little preparation helps. It is useful to have the other party’s contact details to hand, and, if children are involved, their basic details. If finances are part of your case, a rough outline of the assets, property and income involved is helpful, though full disclosure comes later. Above all, choose a quiet, private space where you can speak freely, since it is your confidential conversation.
Will it be stressful?
Most people are pleasantly surprised. A MIAM is a supportive, unhurried conversation with someone whose job is to help you find a way forward. There is nothing to revise, no test to pass, and no commitment to continue. Many people leave their MIAM feeling clearer and calmer than when they started.
Ready when you are
Book your online MIAM at a time that suits you, often available the same day, with no obligation to continue.Book your MIAM now | Call 0333 567 1676
This article is general information about family mediation in England and Wales and is not legal advice.